Medical school is "difficult" in the sense that there is a lot of info. There really is so much info. So much correlations, names, values, alternative names, clinical applications. But it's not what I would personally consider difficult. I am barely struggling due to simple time management techniques. It makes me feel guilty about how other people have failed or dropped out of class already. Because truth be told, I'm not putting my whole heart into it.
I am so bored out of my mind. I process things rationally. I feel like a machine. Memorize this. This symptom leads to that. Utterly boring. If remembering all these facts makes you intelligent then I do not agree with that sentiment. I don't know if I am alone in this sort of mindset. We are cogs in the system. Glorifying the act of servitude.
Oh, but there's also many layers of irony in both the medical school world and the medical field. School rivalry, colleague sabotage, health insurance farming, and many more. It's just like every other field, except with the added self-righteousness. For the rare few who actually serve for the sole sake of serving, I salute you, for you are a rare sort. Many people do it for the chance of prestige, lots of money, and job security.
Just like me, who just followed the concrete road my parents set before me. I knew I was good at science fields, and I knew I could stay at the above average level even if I barely tried and played videogames every now and then. But that doesn't mean I'm enjoying it. It's not that it isn't interesting. It's just that most of the time, it's boring. It's not mentally stimulating. Sure, correlating and critical thinking. Is analysis all we do? It's very plain and unexciting. Most illnesses are basically a flowchart. That's just how life is. But it's still not scratching the itch I always have. I'll explain it if I have to. Doesn't mean I like it.
Don't even get me started on the gatekeeping and elitism in the medical field. Oh, what a privilege to be in such a field! Oh, how smart you are to have made it! Oh, doctors are one of the most respected people in society! Give me a fucking break. Doctors are amazing, yes. But don't go sucking its cock so much that you think only the truly intellectually elite can enter the field. Or what about one of the most truly disgusting things: discouraging people from taking medicine because you think they aren't smart enough. Another disgusting thing is how the name of the school is more important than the career itself it seems. Makes you wonder how much they wanted to be a doctor if they just wanted the ""prestige"" of going to a big school.
I should have known I would feel this way, had I given it more thought. I'm the type to value creativity. Making something with your own hands. Whether it be craftsmanship, code, art, anything. That, in my eyes, is what true skill is. Creating. I look up to people who create. Who excel in their craft. I don't really look up to people that others worship just because they were magnum cum cummy laude their whole educational life or something.
The most important thing for succeeding in medical school is grit. Perseverance. Having your goal in mind. The river flows against you but you swim upstream anyway until you reach the water source. But what choice am I going to make?