I wish I could quit the night and seek the light, but the light is only in my head, a spark of my imagination and a coping mechanism. If light ever existed, it has fled the crouching darkness and quit the reality of my life. I want to scream a different reality into existence, but my voice have deserted me and my vocal cords protest the effort. It is all gone and there is no way back, no forks to take along the way, not even a crossroad to summon my demons.
The food turns to ash in my mouth, the wine become the desert sands, the colors have all been leeched out of life, like paint washed away by rain. You say I'm different, I'm happier, but the ink don't lie - I'm the same as before. The wall erected is different, harder for you to see through. I love you and I cannot stand you seeing my happy hurts.