Confessions - J

It's been years, and a few times a year, Facebook reminds me that you used to be in my life, and that I let you go.

Actually, no.

I didn't let you go. I ran away from you. Why?

Maybe I was scared. I still am, I think. It's only human, I think. To want to love someone, but to be afraid that, despite that, your feelings will be unreciprocated.

But that's a digression. You brought me so much joy. You made those early morning lectures bearable, made me feel accepted, relaxed, and at peace.

Now, I look back and wonder what could have been. Of course, you've gone on to do great things. I often have to remind myself not to dwell too much on the thought.

And yet, I can't help but think back to the last night I saw you, and you saw me, and I was able to tell you. And then after that, I ran - oh, how I ran! Because despite everything, I would still rather run away from you than face the fact that... perhaps you don't feel for me what I feel for you.