Jay

@jaym

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Feeling Lost

Not too thrilled about what lies ahead

Going through some strange feelings today. For the first time in a while, I’m feeling lost.

I just got the news yesterday evening that my manager is leaving our company. He’s the person who I interviewed with and ended up hiring me.

Thing is, I’d botched my first interview, and somehow, in my attempt to recover from it, I impressed him just enough to give me a shot. And for that, I’ll be forever grateful.

Since being hired on, I’ve made it my life’s mission to make sure he never regretted his decision to hire me. And, with my latest performance review, and the one before that, I’d like to think I succeeded in that mission.

So, why do I feel lost? Becuse he was a no-nonsense individual. I knew how he worked, and how to give him what he needed for him to succeed. Which, in turn, allowed me to guide my actions toward producing the results he’d want and need to look good to his managers.

In turn, he also knew me. He knew he didn’t need to micromanage me. He could just let me go and do my thing and I’d come back with the desired results and great feedback about my participation.

He trusted me to lead global initiatives within our company. He also gave me way more leeway than my peers because he knew and understood I was mature and experienced, and that I wouldn’t squander his trust.

As a result, I was able to pretty much manage my own schedule, take off early when I needed, and worked from home when I needed or even wanted.

I will say that I’m not thrilled at his named replacement. I have my concerns, but I’ll still do the job I’ve always done. Nothing changes in my approach, my work ethic, or my drive to deliver in excellence.

However, it feels like my biggest fan of my work is leaving, and I have someone new who knows absolutely nothing about me to have to impress all over again.

Until then, how much leeway can I still enjoy? And what about that awkward period where I get to know her management style, and what it takes to help her look good?

Will she even be halfway as impressed as her predecessor?

Either way, I’m so glad I figured out my “What’s Next”, as I continue to work toward that, so that if the outcome of this change at work is less than optimal for me, I’ll be even more motivated to make my copywriting business a success. Sooner rather than later perhaps.

I’ve lost mentors and co-workers, even friends before on the journey of life. Heck, in the military, people come and go all the time. So, not sure why this one is hitting me harder than most. I’ll get over it like I always do.

But for now, I feel lost, and feel like a big part of who I am here at work is leaving along with my manager.

Sigh.


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