Sapphire

@Sapphire

My online name is Sapphire. I'm a programmer, scout, student and friend. 🐺I enjoy meditation, camping, programming, dreaming up new ideas/projects and experiencing this wonderful thing called life. 🐺I'm a currently recovering fapstronaut and 152 days. 🐺Finally, if you know who I am in really life, don't mention this blog. I do my best work when I don't know who's reading.

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20181117

Hey! I had a great day. Got almost all my work I needed done. Spent time hangout out with my family and generally in a very happy mood.

I’m going to talk about Truth and Lies, Coping Strategies, Minecraft.


So during this time of year it’s historically hard for me. The last few days I’ve been doing really really well which is surprising but also really good! Perhaps this is an evolution? I have a few guesses if it were caused by, but they are wild guess.

1. I’m no longer buying junk food and secretly consuming it.

2. I’m no longer wasting massive amount of time on electronic viewing items like YouTube or other services. I actively avoid those sites.

3. I’m much more connected socially.

4. I’m actively spending time with my family.

5. I’m not using PMO’ing as a means to escape.

6. I’m having long term project to focus on thru short term difficulties.


However, the above changes could just be correlation and not causation. Either way I’m extremely happy, for the most part relaxed and close to stress free!


So Truth and Lies, they are a coping stratigie that I use to manage hard times. I have negative messages that used to play. Messages such as “I don’t deserve fun and love and happiness”, “My family will abandon me” and “I’m worthless”. Recently they’ve begun surfacing again which I believe is due to the massive stress that starting university was. Because starting university paralleled too closely to being moved to an orphanage. Mind you this was the PTSD part of me that viewed it like that. I was fine with it.


Coping strategies are meditate, journal and plan day but don’t worry about staying directly on schedule, so be flexible in my planning and administration of my day.


I’ve been getting recently back into MineCraft yet at the same time I’m not sure that I’m really really into it, but into it enougth that I want to play it with friends. I much rather spend the same amount of time programming but after I’ve done an hour of programming, it’s better to do something social like hangout with my friend Duncan and play minecraft, then waste the next hour doing fruitless code.


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