A seventeen year old girl writing too much


Mind of a Over Achiever

Lately all I seem to be doing is studying and watching porn. I'll study for a couple hours, then get off for 30 minutes, then back to studying. Sprinkle a little bit of dog walking in there and that's been my life for the past 2 weeks.

I like to study though, because I like to learn new things and also I feel really terrible when I'm not studying (eg. watching youtube). Being unproductive makes me feel uncomfortable, like an itch in your brain that you can't scratch. I'm busy body. And a morning person.

I like to wake up before 8am and go to bed before 10pm. I try to study for at least 1 hour outside of school everyday. I drink at least 2 water bottles worth of water per day and walk dogs (which is my job) for 45 minutes - more on weekends. I also force myself to go out and do something social once a week, wether that be seeing my boyfriend for coffee or having a full blown party with my friends. When I'm not doing these things I use the rest of the day watching YouTube and relaxing.
If I don't do all these things I end up feeling really bad about it, and it's not enjoyable.

One time my mom asked me "don't you just want to lay in bed and do nothing sometimes?" and I said no - because honestly that sounds worse that doing all my daily tasks.

One thing I need to work on is eating, because my diet is terrible. I'm picky, you see, I only eat starches and meats and never vegetables. I eat McDonald's like 3 times a week. I'm a fast food junkie. When I do eat these crap things, my portions are minuscule. Somehow, I am still stick thin and manage to have slight abs. I've always been able to consume mass amounts of fats and calories without gaining a single pound, which is probably why I never developed healthy eating habits. But I love greasy, calorie-rich food way too much to care to change my diet at the moment.

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