I'm finding it difficult to study at the moment because I'm tempted to pick my phone up, drive to Adrian's and suck his dick. Not sure why I have this urge to do so, I don't even like sucking dick that much. I think it's just because I know for a fact he's not doing anything at the moment and I find it invigorating that I have the free will and power to decide to put his dick in my mouth and make him cum.
Don't get me wrong, I'm always submissive. In fact-although I'm ashamed to admit it because I think some people would be disgusted by it-I have a consensual non consent fetish. More bluntly: a rape fetish. It's not super hardcore though. I don't like CNC porn when the girl is held at gunpoint and screaming for help or anything, I like when you can tell they are roleplaying. If the girl doesn't cum and look like she's enjoying it in the end then it's not hot for me.
Adrian is not very good at being forceful. He tries because he knows I like being pushed around but he's really gentle by nature and very afraid of hurting me. He is good at pinning me down so that I cannot squirm out of it though, and I love that. Sometimes he even puts his hand over my mouth to quiet me and I find that really hot too. It doesn't take much effort for him to do so, I weigh 102lbs and he weighs upwards of 230. He's very tall and heavyset. I wouldn't say fat-but chubby. His hand can cover my entire face. We're like a deer and a bear. I like that he is so much bigger than me, I think that's my type. There's this couple on Pornhub that reminds me so much of Adrian and I (although Adrians dick is bigger haha) the username is 1thelma. I sort of want to upload anonymous amateur stuff to Pornhub... I'm turning 18 really soon. But I don't like solo stuff and Adrian doesn't turn 18 until the summer. I'm not sure if he'd want to anyway. But the thought of that excites me. I could be on Pornhub and nobody would even know!