2938

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Sexually Oriented Businesses in NYC

Giuliani had no love of the 14th amendment. He made these hilarious laws regarding sexually oriented businesses that still exist today. If you ever see a sexually oriented business in NYC go in and look around.

There's this bizarre law about how only 40% of your floorspace can be devoted to adult content/activities. So if you go into a sexually oriented business, they have huge amounts of floorspace that has nothing to do with their business. Most strip clubs just have huge areas that you can't access.

I went in a adult video/toy store today and saw a hilarious take on the law. They had >60% of their floorspace devoted to family friendly VHS. Ninja Mutant Ninja Turtles on VHS, Shakespeare in Love on VHS, etc. I'm talking two giant rooms full of VHS that they had no intention on selling. Also, why turn the heat on? Customers have no interest in this section so it was about 30 degrees. Also, why turn the lights on? The rooms were more or less pitch black. I soaked in it all in for as long as I could handle the owner staring at me.

Then they had their viewing booths (more on these in a minute). Then they had a tiny room of adult DVDs and toys. I am not exagerating when I say they had 20 times the number of family friendly VHS compared to adult DVDs.

But back to the viewing booth. I didn't go in today, but I went in one once. It was remarkable. I went into an adult shop that I thought was empty so I asked the guy behind the counter what the deal with the viewing booth was.

"What do you mean?"

"What goes on in the booth?"

"You pay 5 dollars and then you get 8 minutes of a TV that has 25 channels."

"Ok, I'll try."

And then I got out my credit card to pay him (this is where I showed him that I wasn't pretending. I had no idea what I was doing). He told me you pay inside the booth. There is a machine attached to the TV and it only takes cash. I dug around in my pockets and found four dollars.

"I only have four dollars, dang"

"You know what? (pulls a dollar out of the register). Here (hands me a dollar)"

"Thanks"

I start walking over to the booths. Theres about 10 booths, five on each side of a hallway. Before I made it to the booths, he says "Here, try this one" and points to the booth behind him. This really freaked me out. Why did he want me to go in a specific booth? I saw someone was using one in the back (occupied light was on), pretty far from the one he suggested. This had me even more on edge because I thought the place was empty. I walked towards the back past the door he suggested, but he insisted. "Really, try this one". Alright. Just trying to stay on the bull for my first rodeo.

I assumed the booths would be private. I put my five dollars in the machine and flipped through some channels. Everything looked like it was filmed in the late 80s or early 90s. Who would want this? On top of that, the room wasn't even private. There was a hole in the wall facing the next booth over. Then it all came together. That's a glory hole. People don't use these booths to watch adult films. The guy behind the counter knew I was just curious and he steered me away from accidentally stumbling into a booth next to another dude.


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